Lonely Hearts Chapel

Cinema Club

The WOODSBORO HIGH Cinema Club, to be exact. (Which is a nod to one of cinema’s most precious underrated gems, Scream 4.) Maybe if enough of you join up with me here, they’ll finally be pressured to come out with some proper WHCC T-shirts and gear; seriously, with the buzzy resurgence of the franchise (no matter how much it’s dropped in quality) they’re just leaving money on the table by not capitalizing on it with oddball, out-of-the-box merch this fandom would devour.

All prospective members must submit their Top Ten for approval. (Then you get approved automatically, because all movie geeks of all tastes, walks of life, and level of seriousness are welcome!)

MR. LONELYHEARTS’ TOP 10 FILMS OF ALL TIME

1. Vox Lux: a Twenty-First Century Portrait
2. a tie between: The Bling Ring and Cloud Atlas
3. The Neon Demon
4. Party Monster
5. Scream 4
6. Thoroughbreds
7. The Nowhere Inn
8. Sucker Punch (2011)
9. Black Swan
10. I Saw the TV Glow

Honorable mentions, alphabetically: Adaptation, All About Eve, Annihilation, Assassination Nation, Bachelorette, Birdman, Capote, Charlie Bartlett (RIP Anton Yelchin,) Charlie’s Angels (2000 and Full Throttle,) Coherence, Colossal, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Cruel Intentions, 8th Grade, The Favourite, French Exit, The Great Gatsby (2013,) Greener Grass, Grey Gardens (original and HBO,) Heathers (but don’t hate me, I think the reboot TV series is way better,) Her, High Life, How to Talk to Girls at Parties, Infinity Pool, Ingrid Goes West, Jennifer’s Body, King Cobra, Knife + Heart, (it’s cool how the two gay porn murder movies appear on this alphabetical list back-to-back!) Little Joe, The Lobster, Love and Other Disasters, The Love Witch, Madeline’s Madeline, Marie Antoinette, Melancholia, The Moth Diaries, Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium, mother!, Promising Young Woman, Rosemary’s Baby, SCREAM (only the original trilogy, and the 4th one as mentioned above,) Synecdoche, NY; The Virgin Suicides . . . I could go on and on, but Imma cut myself off for now.

Expect reviews and/or (more likely) blathering schizoaffective essays, autistically dissecting the minutia involved in many of the aforementioned films. But, MORE IMPORTANTLY: I WANT YOUUU TO BLATHER ON AT MEEE ABOUT THEM TOO! OR REALLY, ANY FILM YOU’RE ABSURDLY PASSIONATE ABOUT! One of the major aspects of Cinema Club, scratch that–THE ENTIRE POINT of Cinema Club: is to help bring people together, so you never need to feel like you’re watching that movie “alone.” Hell, the vast majority of my friendships are long-distance at this point, and I can’t remember the last time I watched a movie in the same room as another person; but my phone is full of reaction texts and messages shared between my friends and me as we watch movies “together.” We perfected the art of long-distance movie nights loooooong before COVID happened, and this fact has instilled in me an urge to experience The Love of Film with as many people as possible! So if any of these movies tickle your fancy, or you have a recommendation for me: I IMPLORE YOU to let me know. We could even message about it via some platform and throw our own little long-distance movie night! I’ve seen more and more “movie night / viewing party” type-things popping up among strangers on BlueSky lately, so I’m sure I’m far from alone in my craving for stuff like this.

Love always,

Mister L.