Wish You’d Come Help Me–

18 Oct 2016 Leave a comment

by MisterMissLonelyhearts in New Media Testament, Verses Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Wish You’d Come Help Me–

They call me a summer,
so I’ll probably meet you in winter
because that’s just who I am,
but hopefully you know that already.
***
They say you’ll be wrapped in golden twine,
like the kind that ties our lives together
and roughly translates heart to head
or lends magic to my dreams of your smile.

Yes, the twine we both wear in those dreams of mine,
when we spelunk into stars and laugh at life,
and when you help me believe in everything again,
even those times we lived planets apart.

These shimmery strings chafe music on my memories,
the futures and pasts of my past and future lives,
and the violin’s bow is yours now, as it’s always been,
the stranger who snows soft music into my lives.
***
Snow falls from my coat, splashing drab bookshelves–
wait, have I heard this song before?
My heart stops and I see gold, then hear it and taste it.
“Can I help you with anything today, sir?”

Those eyes look so familiar.

If you’re currently struggling to find something to believe in, let me offer you some heartfelt advice: eye-contact will help.

Love always,

your Mister

You Say You Love Me,

17 Oct 2016 Leave a comment

by MisterMissLonelyhearts in New Media Testament, Verses Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

You Say You Love Me,

“Love the sinner, hate the sin”
still proudly preaches hate within,
so please don’t say you love me
if you think my love is sin.

For when you say you love me,
and I make to say it back,
my peaceful heart will meet with hate
from understanding that you lack.

You shouldn’t say you love me
when fear and hatred lie below,
for what you’re feeling isn’t love,
just a word you think you know.

I hate none of what you do,
and even less of who you are,
therefore it masks insanity
to hate me from afar.

You are not capable of both hatred and spiritual Love.

Love always,

your Mister

Miss Lonelyhearts Embraces the Cripple

11 Oct 2016 Leave a comment

by MisterMissLonelyhearts in New Media Testament, Verses Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Miss Lonelyhearts Embraces the Cripple

Such an ancient and evolutionary magic, Love, so often invoked and so rarely successfully. You are the spellbook, as we are all spellbooks, so you must study it. “It” means your Self and the quality of its relationships to other Selves with other spellbooks, who are just as ancient and evolutionary as you.

If you spent more time studying this Book of Self, you would no longer fear being alone; loneliness is the best lighting by which to read, and the content of your own book assures you that loneliness will never be anything to fear, so long as it is embraced and cooperated. You are whole; you are reminded of the Thing that entered your body and never left, that immensely yearning throb to believe in the best of yourself and all selves.

As you read yourself more, you will be able to imagine things you never dreamt possible. Your mind and soul will be filled with the vocabulary to create a world of miracles, with every child fed, loved, and educated about the most effective ways they can contribute. You will someday understand that people are born racial, uniquely sexual and gendered, but nobody is born saying things like, “Oh, I don’t think I could ever marry a black guy.”

I know a lot of people have a “type,” as in, a typical appearance to which they’re sexually attracted. But please keep two things in mind: 1.) it’s dangerously easy to mistake socially programmed responses for genuine personal attraction, and 2.) you miss out on most of what life offers when you judge your experiences by appearance alone.

Love always,

your Mister

P.S. – The title of this poem comes from Chapter 11 (“Miss Lonelyhearts and the Cripple”) of Nathanael West’s Miss Lonelyhearts, the novella upon which this entire project is based.

My First Heart-to-Heart

10 Oct 2016 Leave a comment

by MisterMissLonelyhearts in Dear Diaries, Reasons to Live Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’ve been grappling with what exactly to write about here, but after I realized that today is World Mental Health Day, I decided to share something I wrote “last night” as I struggled to fall asleep at 4 a.m. I was still reeling from the presidential debate, and I was painfully trying to stomach a Truth that I can never quite seem to internalize: the ABSOLUTE BEST we can hope for is a lifetime of baby-steps toward a better world. I grabbed my phone and typed something I needed to get out of me:

“I struggle daily with an immense self-loathing. It starts on the outside but it penetrates me so deeply, to the very core of who I am. It pierces every molecule of every synapse behind all my thoughts and actions. I rarely act upon this loathing anymore, but for most of my life it was my main motivating force. And still, it’s always there. Maybe it always will be. I write to document this war within myself, to remember the beauty and goodness that has fallen in defense of the beauty and goodness that still exists. I describe these battles in as great of detail as I can manage, fueled by the Hope that these stories can help you in the fight against your own demon. We all have one. I actually think everyone’s demon is the same. But I have faith that you’re stronger than I’ve been, even stronger than YOU’VE been. You’ll probably even vanquish your demon for good. Someday. Until then, maybe you can help me with mine, or someone else with theirs. We all need all the help we can get.”

I’d been feeling rather blocked and uninspired lately, but the clouds parted a bit once I confessed this to myself. In my writings recently, I’ve felt a tremendous pressure to only express my positive thoughts, but that one-sided pursuit actually caused the goodness in me to weaken–because I wasn’t honoring its struggle. The unhealthy thoughts were actually growing stronger because I hadn’t paid attention to them in so long; they were exacerbated by election-season madness . . . you know, the feeling that you’re never doing enough to help but also that you could never do enough to really help anyway. . .

Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help!

Love always,

Mister L.

my last drink

November 21, 2021
1492 days ago.

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